Today my life begins
17 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
“Today My Life Begins (Bruno Mars)”
I’ve been working hard so long
seems like pain has been my only friend
my fragile heart’s been done so wrong
I wondered if I’d ever heal again
Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
All around me I can feel a change (Ohh)
I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
leave the past behind me, today my life begins,
a whole new world is waiting It’s mine for the taking,
I know I can make it, today my life begins
Yesterday has come and gone
and I’ve learned how to leave it where it is
and I see that I was wrong
for ever doubting I could win
Ohh just like all the seasons never stay the same
All around me I can feel a change (ohh)
I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me,
leave the past behind me, today my life begins
a whole new world is waiting it’s mine for the taking
I know I can make it, today my life begins
life’s too short to have regrets
so I’m learning now to leave it in the past and try to forget
only have one life to live
so you better make the best of it
I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me
leave the past behind me, today my life begins,
a whole new world is waiting it’s mine for the taking
I know I can make it, today my life begins
I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me,
leave the past behind me, today my life begins,
a whole new world is waiting it’s mine for the taking
I know I can make it, today my life begins,
today my life begins…
Semangat Esti!
Be strong!
Be Tough!
Fight as hard as you can…
Break all the chains
life is too short to have regret
Just hang in there girl…
happiness will come in a ‘lil while
Old Note
10 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
I found this note when i tried to enter my old abandoned blog…..
i wrote this on December, 2007 and its about mom… who’s getting old….
Sabtu, 29 Desember 2007
Mom’s getting old…
Kemaren malem saya dengan suksesnya nggak bisa tidur karena berbagai alasan.
Yang pertama adalah karena saya ketiduran di kamar orang sampe akhirnya saya bangun dan pindah ke kamar sendiri. Berhubung udah sempet tidur sebentar yang terjadi adalah bukanya semakin ngantuk malah semakin seger. Tiduran di tempat tidur tapi nggak bisa merem. Nggak bisa tidur.
Makin nggak bisa tidur soalnya saya akhirnya tersadar kalo kemaren malem adalah malem jumat. Dan begitu liat jam udah jam setengah dua. Inget-inget kata orang sih, jam segitu adalah waktunya makhluk lain bertebaran. Tiba-tiba jadi ngerasa agak nggak aman sedikit. Ditambah lagi belom berapa lama saya denger cerita serem tentang dua orang mbak-mbak nggak tampak di kamar sepupu saya yang cekikikan dan berisik banget sampe orang yang ngedengernya keganggu dan ga bisa tidur. Terus waktu itu pas malem-malem kebetulan mati lampu sebentar, eh, si dua mbak-mbak tak tampak itu bilang gini, “ihihihi… sukurin lho mati lampu.” Saya pun semakin merasa nggak aman. Mau tidur dikamar sepupu, udah keburu di kunci. Hiks. Terus nelponin si pemain biola biar ditelpon. Biar nggak ngerasa ‘keeung’ lagi. Tapi ternyata nggak nelpon2karena katanya susah nyambung. Mungkin jaringan CDMA juga lagi dipake maenan sama makhluk-makhluk nggak tampak itu.
Masih terus mencoba untuk tetap tegar menghadapi godaan horor malam jumat, sampe akhirnya nggak kuat. Takuuuuut…
Trus ngetok kamar ibu. Minta ditemenin tidur sama ibu…. (huuh! Berasa kayak anak bayi!)
Udah ditemenin juga tetep belom bisa tidur. Tapi udah ngerasa sangat sangat aman karena ada ibu disebelah.
Ibu udah tidur. Saya belom.
Jadinya malah ngeliatin ibu tidur. Mukanya kayak eyang. Kayak eyang uyut juga. Rambutnya ibu udah pada putih-putih.
Gee… mom’s getting old…
Sambil ngeliatin ibu tidur, sambil sedih. Sambil mikir. Berapa lama lagi ya ibu bisa nemenin saya disini? Sampe sejauh mana ibu bisa melihat hidup saya? Kok ibu udah setua ini saya masih belom ngapa-ngapain ya?
Mudah-mudahan ibu masih sempet liat saya lulus.
Masih sempet liat saya berhasil.
Masih sempet ngerasain hasil dari keberhasilan saya.
Masih sempet liat saya nikah.
Masih sempet ngasih petuah bijak saat saya mengarungi hidup dengan seseorang nantinya.
Semoga….
eat-out place (part 1)
10 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
This is something from what so called my KL-regular-trip, after I don’t know how many time I visited Kuala Lumpur. Most of the time I stay at the exact same place, sightseeing is not on the priority list anymore. So it goes down to food.
During my regular visit there, I’ve been explored some places to eat around the area, and these are some of the places I love the most.
Start with the cheapest one yet help me a lot through my breakfast time. The shop called Restoran Khalifah, Indian moslem food shop that sells (so far) the best roti canai with curry I have ever had. And if you look at how many people came to this shop every day and tried it as well, I think you might agree with me that their curry is good. The best part is that the roti canai only cost you RM 1. For me it is enough for breakfast. Or even if it’s not, then order 2 or 3 roti canai and you can still save lots of money with fully loaded belly 
plus teh tarik or milo that will only cost you RM1.50.
And if you ever visited this place, order roti canai and roti canai only :p well other food also ok, but i prefer the roti canai
Anyway, because of this roti canai I tried to order roti canai in Bandung whenever I eat out and find roti canai on the menu. Sadly I hardly found a good roti canai with curry here, until I tried one at Rumah Makan Sederhana, the one near Rumah Mode around Setiabudi area. It was currylicious good :p
The next one would be this cute little cupcake emporium where you will feel like you’re home indulged with those delicious cupcakes, milk or other light bites. This place called Wondermilk which is walking distance from the place I live in. Needless to say that their cupcakes rock!
If you want to have more variety of food, you can also go to the hawker food center. They have wide range variety of food from malay, seafood, Indian to western. Also ABC (ais buah campur) and other beverages, with not so expensive price if I can’t say cheap.
But if you are a meat eater and capable of eat a lot…. you might want to try to go to a place with buffet. All you can eat one. Nearby there’s an Indian Restaurant called d’tandoor. They actually serve ala carte menu, but during lunch time, they also serve buffet for RM20 per person.
I love everything especially their mutton and Naan with garlic. But wait till you try the rice pudding or kheer. Don’t get fooled by how simple this dessert looks like. Once you tried it, yummmmm… it’s heavenly good. And you would spoon for more
And if you want to go to a regular buffet (like grill and steam) you can just go to one utama shoping mall. They have seoul garden who serve buffet for lunch and dinner with special discount if you have student card
So those are some eat-out place I visited the most when I go to KL, although there’s one place that I would love to try but never get a chance to visit. It’s Fat Spoon… they also have this cute little shop. I hope next time I would be able to go there and have a taste on their food 
Hectic
09 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
I am re-opening my pancake shop
thanks to my very own best friend who decided to join the business.
excited and nervous at the same time. but let all those feelings alone.
right now im in a very hectic moment because i have to do everything by myself.
at first we decided to get a help from an interior designer and a contractor to make it all done in time.
we sealed the deal with the designer but cancel the contractor as for the price they offered was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond our budget.
so we decided to take care of it by ourselves.
checked the workers. wrote down all the stuff we have to buy by counting the size of everything, went to materials shop. checked price for paints, woods, etc (well we basically checked prices of all items we needed because of this small budget thing), yet we still have loads of things to do!
Hopefully we can make the sketch up from our designer into a real one with a very very low budget!
speaking of which… in the end, when my energy all consumed by the day, i still try to turn on my laptop to online and to cheer myself up to talk to him, recharge my energy, share stories, etc… (yea, you wish!)
guess what?
he aint there…
PUF!
I miss the old time :(
28 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
“unmaintained relationship will get waste”
I took this words from Mario Teguh show on “how costly love is” episode.
Not only in term of money but also in term of commitment. And this show has brought my thought to a couple days ago when we had a fight (or an argument if the word fight sounds so harsh).
Maybe it was my fault for not said it nicely, but again I don’t know if I can arrange so many words I wanted to say in a well-organized argument when the disappointment of a letdown hope arose. Small things I kept lead to it. I know I shouldn’t sweat small stuff, but how about if these are the basic needs to be fulfilled in a relationship in order to maintain the feeling of being loved.Wanted. Missed.
I once felt how I’m being loved by him. Treasuring the moments when he called me while he was in his home town. Followed by this sweet text “sorry for calling I just missed your voice. I miss you.”
Or a “how are you sweetie” text that he sent also from far away. And a “where are you? I’m online, come online?” sms.
A time when most of the texts being replied. When we didn’t care about how many credit we’ve spent just to be able to communicate with each other.
How great it was to be able to sense the feeling of being missed.
And then there was also the fetching moment with a sweet text before “I’ll be waiting for you at airport. I wouldn’t miss your arrival for the world.”
The feeling of being expected. Wanted. That and all his other wholehearted attention. It might be small but mashaallah, I was the happiest person alive! No money can buy all those precious moment. I can’t stop feeling so grateful that I’m with him. So proud of us. Head up, smiling. I can feel myself glowing because I had all these beautiful feelings inside.
When we met a young married couple at their apartment, I didn’t envy them for having so much love for each other (you can plainly noticed on how the husband is so in love with the wife). I didn’t envy them because I know that the man sat next to me also giving a huge amount of love!
Or when a friend of mine on her facebook status stated that she is seeing a guy from one of the Scandinavian country but working in Malaysia. Then people start to say that we have the same thing, me and my friend. And I said to myself, NO WE DON’T!
What I have with him is so much real than her!
We have the same faith. The same language to pray. And the most important thing is this relationship didn’t happen because I’m obsessed to have a relationship with foreigner, like my friend does. The relationship I have grown from a real feeling, not from a form of obsession.
There’s also time when I saw my best friend had an eight months of relationship with a guy also from middle east country. But they’ve never really met before. How could that be real? Their relationship only relies on skype or ym with web cam. NO! that’s not strong enough.
What’s strong is the thing that going on between me and him. That’s the real deal! We met before we’re in love with each other.
Nor when I read a blog that belongs to a young wife that once rated as a love story blog. When I read about her husband sent her message through her email or blackberry messenger just to say how lucky he is to be with her, or how he miss her already in the morning at work.
I proudly said that NO! I didn’t envy them as well. I have the man who text me the same thing and love me the same way.
Remembering also the moment when he shared his lowest moment with me. I know I may not have the best way out, in fact sometime I realized how stupid my input for him was. And also his happy moment like when he got his France Visa. The feeling of being involved by him at his up and down moment was priceless.
Or when he forbid me to host male guest. Annoying, really annoying! But at the same time I feel the lurch of happiness knowing that he’s jealous which indicate that he loves me all right.
But then I feel like we’re losing it. The ignorance has weakened me down and turned me into an annoying person and get mad real easy.
Because I didn’t feel those great feeling again, being loved wanted nor missed.
Started with no more replied text, it’s not as often as it used to be. But I can understand this perfectly. We have ym, we talk every night on ym, even if I have to be patient for him to come. I came after gym, food, video and mom. It’s kinda ok although to be honest, back than he had plenty of time for me. We talked a lot on ym, even for hours. We built a good communication regarding our relationship. Well at least we really communicate back then.
But recently the amount of our communication has been reduced quite a lot. No more ym at night since we talk on whatsapp. But even on whatsapp we only do small talk. Not as intense as ym. But I never saw him online there again. And I feel he had less time for me. After work, gym, food, video and mom, he’s tired, only a “hi” and couple of small talk, then he’s sleepy. No need to ask how frustrated I am because of this. Sometimes I showed the frustration to him sometimes I will just keep it to myself. sadly it’s easier to just said OK rather then questioning why…
The same thing happened on video call on skype. I have to beg for it (because asking for it nicely will only lead to a “NO” answer from him). So I beg when I’m in a good mood and really upset when I’m not. It’s just stupid. No one beg for skype. No one fight for skype. No one rejected as much as I am for skype. Especially when they have a long distance relationship. And how could he say no for a video call when we’re actually far and that’s the only way we see each other?
Most of the time it was devastating for me.
He never asked me stuff like “where are you going?” anymore. Or “with who?” etc.
Truth to be told, there are times when I said “OK, I’m going now” only to tested the respond. I’m not really going, I just wanted to know whether I’ll be missed or not. I guess most of the time the answer would be not.
Also the fact that recently he told me to leave him alone when he’s down. I can’t lie, I feel unwanted.
I started to envy people’s relationship.
Questioning things which i have no answer for. I don’t know whether this is only temporary and shit just sort of happened in a relationship. Or the love we’ve got has just sinking deeper each day?
But one thing i know… I really miss the old time.
i miss him to miss me.
i miss our laugh.
i miss the real feeling of being loved.
i miss him.
one small step towards a bigger dream
25 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
If someone ask me how does it feel to see your name printed on a book cover? i can say that it was and it still feels awesome up until today.
I’ve been dreaming for it since like, forever!
Writing a book has been my all time dream.
As much as i know that this is not my own book because we wrote it together, five of us, but still i feel that I am one step closer to achieve what i always want. This one small step has been giving me a brand new positive energy to keep writing.
Aside from all the shortcoming i can say that I’m not perfect, no one does. I’m still learning, and I always will.
But one thing for sure, i will keep writing and this is also a prove to all people who thought that i do nothing in front of my computer other than doing facebook and twitter, well they got me wrong!
Birthday Wishes
16 Sep 2011 2 Comments
Well… i have lots of birthday wish-list…
but who doesn’t?
and the list is endless…
Yet the most important things are
I want my life to be so much better.
I want people that matters for me proud of me.
I want to have a closer relationship with the almighty.
I want the new numbers of mine full of bless
And not just wishes, but also gratitude.
For the love all around me.
Loads of birthday wishes from friends and families.
Its just words, but it means a lot because i know they still care.
Happy Birthday Me!
Insha Allah…. we’ll find the way :)
10 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
Insha Allah Lyrics
By: Maher Zain
Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That you’re so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way
Insha Allah
Insha Allah we’ll find the way
What’s for Lunch?
09 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
Actually 2 days ago i made this… Hot Spicy Tuna Pasta because i found lots of red chilies in the kitchen. And i still have few Tuna slices and a pack of pasta.
Easy and ready in just 10 minutes!
100 gr of any pasta you like
3 red chilies, chopped
15 gr of tuna (or basically as much as you want)
1/2 round of onion, chopped
1 tbsp of olive oil to saute the onion
salt and pepper to taste.
optional: chilli powder
How to:
1. boiled 500 liter of water with a tablespoon of any oil you like (olive oil, vegetable oil, etc). Than pour in the pasta for about 5 minutes or depend on how well you want your pasta to be.
2. After ready, drain the water and put aside.
3. On a low heat put olive oil and saute the onion until you can smell the aroma.
than put tuna and chili in it.
4. once the tuna cooked well pour the pasta and mixed it well along with salt and pepper. Pour one tablespoon of chili powder if you want to make it more spicy.
and voila! Your Hot Spicy Tuna Pasta is ready!
